


black-white

by rivolt



Category: One Piece
Genre: Drama, M/M, Pre-Canon, Pre-Slash, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-20 23:04:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14903861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rivolt/pseuds/rivolt
Summary: Lucci's dreams always had been a abyss.





	black-white

**Author's Note:**

> warning!  
> author speaks english a little bit better than monkey, but he tried  
> this is a translation of my work from russian.  
> because why not

Lucci's dreams always had been a abyss.  
They didn't have the depth and glimmer. It's was а total darkness that cover with head when Lucci closed his eyes  
Lucci believes the darkness is a blessing; it's empty, indifferent, emotionless. She steadily destroys seven and a half hours, allows blissfully don't think, don't feel, don't realize.  
Probably this is the closest to the concept of rest that Lucci can allow himself.  
The rest means throw away seven and a half hours and don't think about them.

Here for 11 pm and that's already 6.30 am.  
Lucci wakes up, trains for the government, for the strength in the future, he doesn't notice the passage of time, the world around, nothing but what is really important. Lucci only sees what is essential, and the clock is again 11 pm.

Lucci is completely and totally satisfied; his world has no colors and emotions. No emotions means no problems.

And the name appears on his back then.  
It blooms with a short stroke of pain, distracting just for a second, but Lucci can't allow to be distracted (the first rule of his existence: concentration and concentration) and and misses the beat.  
A smashed lip aches, but it's the least of all the evils when the world around starts dancing. Knees are shaking shamefully. He's trying to get up.

The hate, the fear - please, not this, thought flashes - no, no, no - stranger emotions, alien feelings flow through the veins, tapping in unison with the heart, and the world, which was always empty, gray, indifferent changes before eyes.  
Perception becomes aggravated, and smells blossoming apple trees, and the dim colors disappear, and now the sun bright splashes hit in the eye.  
Lucci is breathing frequent, superficial. He can't breathe, it seems to him a little more and the lungs will be ruptured, and they burn, the whole world burns now.

Other name burns back as the mark of a slave.

 

***

Short name, ugly name is right between the shoulder blades.  
Lucci looks over his shoulder in the mirror and does not even want to see this ugliness on his back.

They were told that agents shouldn't have emotions for the successful completion of missions. A cold mind is the key to success.

It was read between the lines that the agents shouldn't have a soul and even more so... this (Lucci can't breathe from anger) ... this defect. Agents should be above that.

Lucci is tainted by the sin of humanity.  
The world is bursting at the seams and Lucci is at the center of this cheap psychodrama.  
He's disoriented, confused.  
(and between the lines of — scared).

***

He sees a dream then.  
He sees not emptiness, not darkness, not failure, exatcly dream with colors and scents.

Water in this dream, city of water, so much water: glare, glare, shaky boats, narrow canals, plain awnings between streets. All shades of blue, and light walls, and people, and smiles, and he runs somewhere, runs, runs, and so warm around, inside, and huge fountains, and everything else than here.  
Freedom is in that dream.

***

Lucci wakes up when the moon is still shining.  
He intently and diligently tears his back into the blood, scratches this name, rubs it, trying to destroy it.  
He naively believes, hopes, that the more "it" does not appear.  
He never wanted it.  
Not it.  
Then why is everything so?

***

When the scratches heal, name is blooming again.  
Lucci tries to forget it, to erase it from his memory, to delete it from his life; to stabilize it, to normalize it.

Never say it again.  
He's tearing his back again.  
Then another and another. Never tell anyone.  
Lucci keeps his back unnaturally straight he is zipping up his emotions, like a shirt under the throat. What's the point if they splash over the edge?

***

Lucci is lost in his dreams.  
He dissolves in sounds, the knowledge pricks the brain: he somewhere near the shipyard. Around his poverty, devastation, dilapidated boards, boarded up windows.

Not Lucci secretly spying on the island-dump. the people there are noisy, humming, lay rails. Broken ships lie around and shoot occasionally. He spies hiding behind a steel pile.

He helps to break down doors, close windows. More precisely, he doesn't help, parents say: "Sit quietly, don't interfere." And he was swinging his legs and sometimes takes the nails. We must hurry: Aqua-Laguna is coming.

There aren't words in the world to express how Lucci tired.

***  
Lucci don't tear his back, only once he is trying to cut a piece of skin with a knife, but it doesn't work.The back is the best option in terms of preserving a potentially hated tag. 

Lucci surrenders.  
He allows someone to live for two, feel for two, tries to control outbreaks of emotions, not is waking up in cold sweat from clearest dreams.

It is still ashamed and embarrassing: to look at the name between the shoulder blades.

***  
Lucci thirteen, he has a black suit, white tie, hands on the elbow in the blood.  
The problem with name on the back decided in one gulp of five mortars.

The volley wasn't strong enough to break through tekkai, but it was enough to massacre the proof of shame.

Blessed be that day.

***

Lucci bad sleep; he almost asleep.  
The bonds of the souls breaks reluctantly, slowly disintegrates, and Lucci is constantly a headache.  
Dreams are murky. The water in the canals turns scarlet.  
The city dies.  
If Lucci doesn't sleep, his body wring by painful cramps. Eyes shamefully wet with tears

Lucci says it's for the best.  
This is how the bonds that shouldn't exist breaks down.  
Most painful of all before dawn.

 

***  
Everything comes back to normal suddenly.  
Lucci opens his eyes and realizes that he don't feel anything.  
It's blissful absolute nothing.  
Feelings atrophied, emotions died.  
Absolute zero reigns in the metaphorical heart.  
Lucci doesn't even feel relieved.

***  
Since then, he dreams of the dead.


End file.
